i have bloggers block

...which is funny because i usually never shut up, but than i have been swamped this week

enjoy my cure:




oh, and i had a request for my first two mixes so here are megaupload links:

break up mix

beginning

REI

My REI dividend came in today!

i love REi and co-op money from REI so that i can get new rock shoes for half the price

...not exciting to many, but exciting for me :)

my weekend

i just got home from a fantastic weekend...and it did not include sex ;)

i have a big ass smile on my face

went out fri at 7 returned right now, i had to go to my sisters for rosh hashana straight from my friends place without changing and still hung over...my nephew completely flipped out in excitement when i got there, i cant explain how happy he was to see me...he wouldn't even let me out of his sight to go to the bathroom, and my niece was vying for my attention...That made me feel sooo loved :) and guilty for not visiting more

:)

...i now have to write a paper that is do sunday morning that i completly forgot about until this afternoon...papers should not be due on sunday fucking morning..it is such a killjoy

be political

I love Colbert, and I love seeing where Colbert gets it from:



gay abortion conspiracy



Better know a district for Georgia's 11th

funny? hell yes
Angry? Hell yes
DO SOMETHING

Wisconsin votes on nov. 7th- help Fair Wisconsin
help HRC or anybody else

volunteer, donate, be out, just simply talk about it, but do something

for a limited time only

something i never want to encounter again

the wrong thing

ever known one of those people who always manages to say the wrong thing...i am one of those people.

i dont just say the wrong thing, i manage to give certain people the completely wrong impression of me..things that nobody who really knows me would ever think in a million years, but I can be almost pathological about coming off the wrong way around the same people over and over, like a viscous cycle, I get so worried about the last impression they got that I get all weird again.

I dont do this all the time I can only think of 2 people it has happened with...i'm just doing it again and wanted to vent (this is probably giving the wrong impression of me as well...arrgh)

i need to get over not being able to deal with somebody not liking me...damn catholics from the midwest

on a different non-emo note next tuesday is talk like a pirate day...ARR

Books to film

over the years it seems that my favorite modern books are always made into movies a year or two after I have obsessed about the book (I apparently have very cinematic aka generic taste)

luckily they have turned out to be good movies (hollywood figured out how to properly adapt)

Girl, Interrupted, High Fidelity, About a Boy (I really like Nick Hornby), Bridget Jones, etc.

and then there was The Hours- my favorite book in the world- I was so worried when I heard it was being optioned and intrigued over how they would pull it off and it turned out amazing (even made me like meryl streep)

next up is Little Children - the casting is amazing (kate winslet) and the trailer is one of the best i've seen in a long time:



I have a feeling this will be a good movie year. media geek rant over.

to do list

1. make a real to do list
2. buy batteries
3. math homework/ dont sleep through my alarm and miss math again
4. history paper
5. read 200 pages on Florentine divorce, 100 pages of weber, and economist articles (arent you jealous)
6. hang out in dupont for my ethnography project (now arent you really jealous?)
7. go to target
8. buy shampoo (aussie aussie aussie - i like the smell)
9. pick out a new hair paste (it is sad how many dif. hair products i have)
10. get my hair trimmed (talk sister out of cutting nephews hair)
11. buy a tv
12. catch up on weeds
13. catch up on project runway
14. take posters off of floor, put on wall
15. buy vodka, tequila, beer...you know kitchen basics
16. laundry
17. locate my favorite underwear
18. go harass IT again about 3 weeks without cable/Internet
19. try not to buy a new pair of shoes
20. return sisters car :(
21. go to the pool bar, practice for my hustling career
22. get new jeans (i am insanely picky...and need a pair that i have to unbutton to pull down)
23. call cute girl who gave me her # (see 17)
24. discourage boy who is facebook/in class stalking me (i am around a 5 on the scale , maybe if i went all out and became an 8/9 every boy i talk to in class wouldnt ask me out...you'd think the equal marriage triangle rainbow sticker on my notebook would give a tiny clue..that and the fact that i am vocally gay in class)
25. finish coming out (i only have 2 left!)
26. finally finish East of Eden
27. get my writing sample from magazine intern.
28. go to current internship
29. practice saying no to sister ie baby sitting (12 hrs today--for free)
30. do something about empty livingroom (though we did steal a table on fri)
31. get more work suitable outfits (i have a ridiculously t-shirt heavy wardrobe)
32. learn to cook
33. dont buy any new panties for awhile (i had a little too much shopping fun sun.)
34. eat more than once a day (i need to go grocery shopping...i have cheese, goldfish, soy nuts, beer, and miso soup)
35. cut back a little on running (I have run my little ass off lately--see #s 22 and 34)
36. finally see an inconvenient truth
37. steal my sisters entertainment weekly
38. steal the washington post from the dorms
39. get a subscription to WP, change mailing address for EW and Paste
40. call back a shit ton of people
41. go to sleep before 3 am (i get up at 6:30/7)
42. ease back on number of long rambling posts
43. practice my abcs
44. not get too riled up about how the new facebook feed is the social/poltical issue of my generation---think about what if that much passion was invested in gay rights, the war,..anything but fucking facebook
45. pay attention to #42

how much has the world changed in 5 years

its sept 11 so i'll do my story (as i feel bad making an entry without mention):

I had been home alone for a few days and was at school taking an AP euro test on the spanish conquistadors (i remember exactly what i was writing) when someone came in and whispered something to my teacher, she went white, but didnt say anything...then our douche principal came over the loud speaker saying he had to make a very special announcement (in an excited tone of voice where we were expecting a homecoming date request..it was not)...we all left the class for the tvs in the cafeteria and were watching live when the towers fell.

school was so weird that day, the streets of chicago were filled with people walking /running home (i cant imagine what NY was like), and I became addicted to the news, for weeks i always had it on.

personally for me one of the most disturbing things was that my dad had a 7:45 am United flight out of boston logan on 9/11...he was in the air when the planes hit...he couldnt get through to me by phone for 5 hours and he couldnt get home for 3 days (he ended up sharing a rental car with a few other stranded Chicagoans)

I am truly sorry for the victims, families, and anyone who lost someone

on a lighter note to cheer people up on the most depressing of days

I went underwear shopping yesterday which made me quite happy and ran across some panties that reminded me of molly ringwald:

I also found out that my favorite underwear ever AE boycut is so successful that they are opening a whole separate store for it...which i find exciting as the only thing i ever buy at american eagle is underwear

*I just got back from a class where we talked about mia Kirshner (as i was the only person in the class who knew who she was) for about a half hour, and then analyzed a stripping scene of hers from exotica--nice class*

why i like sat in the fall...

...I can leave for the bar at 12 to watch football

fresno sucks on so many levels...

I miss living across from the football stadium

what i did today

shhh i secretly listen to punk

Punk mix...i've been wanting to do it for awhile, but punk isnt exactly everyone's cup of tea (it can get cloying...i try to avoid this)

hey, what can i say I have a weakness for punk rock girls ;)

so grab your hair gel and punk out with your faux hawk

1. Anarchy in the UK- Sex Pistols
2. Take the Skinheads Bowling- Camper Van Beethoven
3. Punk Rock Girl- Dead Milkmen
4. Hook it Up- The Donnas
5. The Scratch- 7 Year Bitch
6. My Girlfriends Shower Sucks- Goldfinger
7. I Never Promised you a Rose- The suicide Machines
8. Search and Destroy- Iggy & the Stooges
9. Don't Think you Wanna- Sleater-Kinney
10. Pin- Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs
11. Sex is in fashion- The Adored
12. Things seem all Fucked up today- Screeching Weasel
13. Hope- The Decendents
14. Straight A's- Dead Kennedys
15. Sheena is a Punk Rocker- Rancid covering the Ramones
16. Good Rats- Dropkick Murphys
17. White Minority- Black Flag (nazi punks should die)
18. Diagnosis- The Weakerthans
19. Redondo Beach- Patti Smith
20. A Place in the Heart- Social Distortion
21. Better off Dead- Bad Religion (i once saw them open for blink-182..it made me mad)
22. Mr. Ramones- The Mr. T Experience (i lost all of my ramones and am sad)

*songs are short so it looks longer than it is....this is actually my favorite mix since my first*
you just need to login to you send it now...i love how they change every five minutes...i really should just libsyn, but that would be admiting i kinda podcast..and i dont talk so i dont podcast.

a random coming out story

of the fun relaxed kind

so I am out to my roommates and anyone who asks, but I'm meeting a bunch of new people so it has come up a lot recently (i never noticed until recently just how much straight girls just meeting each other talk non-stop about boys...i'm always like yeah, not really my thing...dont you think that chick has a nice ass)

so anyway a bunch of us after we got back yesterday (after trying a short cut home up a gross hill, barbed wire, and three fences...long story...but i kick ass at climbing fences) were tired and dirty so we decided to just have a greys anatomy marathon ( I love greys anatomy)

my friend: "don't you think merideth's boobs are fake"
me: immediate "no"
everyone else: "maybe"
friend 2: "why did you answer so quickly?"
me: "well they are real..look they are lower than fake ones would be...and the right ones a tiny bit smaller"
another girl: "but she is so skinny...they have to be fake"
me: "small girls can have breasts, and meredith's aren't that big" *gesture toward myself*
friend 2: "who knew you were such a breast connoisseur?"
me: *sly smile* "it takes practice"
my roommate: * laughs*"you are such a lesbian"
me: *laughs* "yep"