I make music mixes and really didnt want to do my math homework so I made a response to PB Wolf and Slo's questions:
Soundtrack of my life: [back with you send it]
Opening song: When I grow up - Garbage (used as the ring tone for me the world over)
first love: Supernova- Liz Phair
Current/latest love: Fast Girls- Sarge
Life changing/ revelation song: Hurt - Johnny Cash covering NIN
Ending Track: Miss Halfway- Anya Marina
my internet is down :(
so I am at the library :)
It is amazing how impossible it is to get anything done for school without the internet; everything is computerized and i need to do my readings (all online)
got lost in adams morgan last night...DC is sooo much better than eugene. To quote the people roaming 18th street "wooooooo"
my day defintiely brightened this morning when i walked into my 8am class (gag me, but i intern the rest of the day) and my professor looks exactly like jordana brewster, but hotter and really fucking smart.
getting to class at 8 am isnt looking to bad anymore...
maybe i should take spanish ;)
Tina Fey= School geek hot
I finally start school tomorrow after my lovely two weeks of summer (no i'm not bitter at all) I actually did have a great time over this summer, it was nice and relaxing, I spent a great deal of time with my family which was great as when i was on the west coast I only was able to see people once a year, I came out to the men in my family (i keep chickening out with my sisters) and I have made it out of my first significant break up intact.
I had orientation this week (if you haven't figured it out because i tend to be incoherent I just transferred colleges) Everybody I met there seems to be christian, but so far nice christian not scary. I am going to go rowing with a (strt)girl this weekend- i have always wanted to try crew and I need to keep my arms fit for rock climbing until i find a rock gym i can afford. I am also going to get involved in some activities to meet more people I am on the same wavelength with (aka gay). My school is on the list of best places to go if you are gay and have a really active GLTBA, so I guess that should be my doorway in to gay college DC.
I met with my advisor and he wants to move me over to the honors college, which means more work for me, but would pretty much ensure my way into the grad/law school of my choice (we need another law student in Kelka land) I have this term to decide if i like the program (do i even want to go to grad school?). It feels so weird to get this, i was such a screw up in high school (youngest child of major overachiving family syndrome) and now i am in one of the best honors programs in the country...who knew?
I am nervous.
I can't spell.
I really want to be a bartender.
need to clean, need a new theme for a mix, need some motivation to jump start your mad unpacking skills (i know i do)
try my house cleaning mix and wonder why in the hell it reminded me of cleaning
1. Like Humans Do- David Byrne
2. Anti-to-do list- Beau Sia
3. I was thinking i could clean up for Christmas- Aimee Mann
4. Throw it All Away- Brandi Carlile
5. Something to talk About- Badly Drawn Boy ( i find this song great for loading dishes for some reason) *at this point it gets peppy...i start out cleaning grumpy*
6. Mirror in the Bathroom- The English Beat
7. Never Enough- The Cure
8. Small Strokes - Spoon
9. Like eating Glass- Bloc Party
10. Hold me Now - The Thompson Twins (clean like Alice!...dont forget the nose strip)
11. Time after Time- Sarge
12. Give Me love- Cerrone- mix by Dimitri from paris (for certain someones who like disco)
13. Legend in my Living Room - Annie Lennox
14. Celebrity Sanctum- Dogs Die in Hot Cars (my favorite band name)
15. Day like Any- Amy LaVere
16. c'est Si Triste- Ann Savoy
17. Oh My- Mellowdrone
18. Everyday is a Holiday- Esthero
19. Come on Home- Franz Ferdinand
*it is up on megaupload as you send it changed and i dont feel like libsyning, but let me know if it is too big a pain in the ass and i'll figure something else out*
I hate phone interviews...i am so much better in person, but they are all nerve racking. I just finished my interview for an internship that i really really want not five minutes ago. I think it went fine, but i was a little more flustered than usual (not good when internship involves fund raising- i am also moving and baby sitting concurrently- i sould have mention that as an example of my multitasking skills) and actually said i was nervous , oops, i can only hope it came off as endearing....
I am quite skilled in answering bullshit questions like "explain a time when you had to deal with a situtation that you could not handle" and "explain a time where you had to answer a douchey question with out sounding like a complete ass hat"
I want to see the handbook where people get these fucking questions...do they really use peoples responses?
hopefully it did not go as bad as i feel currently...i have never interviewed for something and not gotten it ( and i have done 5 phone interviews in the past 2 months) ... i hope this doesnt break my streak
anyway i finished a mix last night when i was nervously not sleeping. I will post it when i get back as i just realized i have to go pick up my sister from work and then get my nephew...
I have had a crazay week...
i both hate and love moving:
i love decorating, new stuff, and new people
i hate anything associated with packing, those hard plastic connectey things, new bruises, and new people
i both hate and love ikea:
i love the hundreds of little rooms, how it would be almost as cool a place to runaway to as the Met ala "from the mixed up files of mrs. basil e. frankwiler," and ...its Ikea!
i hate going there the sunday of moving in for 4 major colleges within 30 mins, moving/ putting it together (well i'll admit i do like to put things together), that they had just sold out of the bedframe I wanted...i am so sick of this air mattress
i both hate and love my new apartment:
i love how it is mine, it has lots of windows, my roommates seem nice and normal so far, and it has a dishwasher
i hate how it is a little far from campus (but i didnt want to go back to dorms and it is HELLA expensive to live near my new school...hella), the building is only about half students so other res. kinda glare at you, and it is still hella expensive
I will probably get another mix out sometime early this week as i am procrastinating getting stuff done for school...
speaking of my itunes is now at 6994.... i only need 6 more to reach 7000, granted i am lazy and have yet to rip most of my CD collection over, but i want my 7000 song to be awesome...any suggestions?
Cause Mr. T just is funny...and so are goats 
This baby hippo adopted a 100 year old tortoise as its mother
This is what i have chosen to call my initial shutter, feeling of uneasiness, and guilt i get whenever i am reminded of my "hetero" experiences. I am wondering if i am the only one that feels like this sometimes.
I have always known something was different about me. I was never [ever] interested in boys, my friends had joked since grade school that i was asexual. There were always rumors that I was gay- I even had DYKE written across my locker in 8th grade. Now I dont think i look like a big dykeo, and I didnt back then either; it had something to do with me rebuking the advances of pretty powerful boy in junior high land and never showing the slightest interest in anybody else.
I had a lot of other stuff that was more important for me going on at the time than sexual orientation so i never really bothered to process the fact that i was actually gay, I just knew i wasn't attracted to men...i thought it would just happen eventually. I became very adept at turning down men and everytime i have done this i feel guilty for hurting their feelings. I even let people think i was gay (i have never denied it) before i even fully accepted that i was, because it made things easier, a big joke, and i think i always knew in the back of my mind that it was true.
I had a few very very drunk stupid encounters with men (that never went "all the way") and thought then that the reason that it felt just so wrong was that they were wrong, i was drunk, and that maybe i just had intimacy problems. Later i started to realize what was really right for me but being me i had to test to make sure i wasnt just crazy.
My last and final straw was when i met the "perfect boy," that i just couldnt think of a good reason to turn down. He was hot, a volunteer fire-fighter, in a band, smart, funny, sweet, and he absolutely adored me...every straight girls dream and I flat out used him. He was perfect and after a few dates and few glasses of wine i did have sex with him. It felt like i was in somebody elses body, that i was a character in a play: as green said once "insert moan, ass grab here." I knew for sure it was wrong and he was just so shocked and hurt when i broke it off with him, i still feel horrible about it. Then I was with a girl and everything felt right. It all just clicked and i finally understood who I was and what i had been missing all those years.
But even a few years later, i still feel bad about it, and have to shake out a little bit when i remember my hetero experiences...he was playing bright eyes and to this day it holds a connection in my head to straight sex.
Has anyone else ever felt like this or am i just a freak?
I choose to think it just proves that i am GAY GAY GAY!
*i apologize for the serious post, I went out with my new roommates tonight and was continuously hit on by men...that and coming off hard liquor makes me all serious*
*i have been working on this post all day I kept getting called away and then coming back with a completely different subject, but i dont feel like completely redoing it. So if you bother to read it forgive me for the discombobulation, beer makes me chatty, my spelling is horrid, and my ellipses annoy even me....blame my text message crazy friend C. (my heteroflexible fantastic old roommate who loves the L word and Carmen's ass as much as I)*
I had the final of my summer class today and I now never have to take a science class again if i dont want to -- this makes me quite happy
a semester of molecular biology shoved into 4 weeks, my internship, babysitting 30 hrs a week, and misc personal and logistical crappola thrown in all have added up to a pretty hectic summer so far
but I got to fit Lolla in and this morning S. finally said my name (L sounds are kind of hard for babies)
*he just ran up to me squealing my name, gave me a hug, and handed me a ball...this is why I really dont mind that they take up so much of my time*
now i will have time to actually go out and be social for the next couple weeks before real school starts up
I move into my new place next week which means i will have my own space- i didnt realize how much i needed it until now
I think I will go out and do some "gay shit" this weekend and maybe get around to trying skype out (i dont know why i am still kinda freaked out by skype and now i feel it is way to late in the game, but my name is lou_la, who knows i might work up the courage to show up on it)
for now I have my middle sisters apartment to myself and tonight i am just going to decompress and enjoy being by myself with nothing to do for the first time in two months
dc = gay, i should join in on that
I drove by SugarBush Lane today...I think I need to go back and take a picture
I'm amused that green and all those that follow the queen have finally shown up on last.fm- I kinda pussied out and changed my user picture
One of my best friends (since 1st grade) introduced me to last.fm awhile ago and i was just using it with her, she is going to be so weirded out when goes on and sees just a small peek into the Kelkian universe now that it has branched there, so HEY K. if she finds her way over here, the idea of everyday life people here kinda freaks me out, but i am not the type to bother with covering anything up...she knows i listen to L word related podcasts and that there is a forum, but it is so out of character for me to do anything on the internet it will totally freak her out
...being confused and closeted in high school led me to never talk about my personal life with people i knew then, I'm still taking steps to repair those relationships- another reason I guess for why it is important to be out
I listen to a range of music, but one of my signatures is what my old roommate called old man depresso music...what can I say i have loved raspy smoky voice for a long ass time (and the modern evolutions)
My favorite being Leonard Cohen, one of the most influential men in music, yet talked about less than i would expect even though his songs show up on a shit load of soundtracks...(around 4 or 5 times on the l word alone), there are around 1,000 covers of his songs. I kind of feel about Leonard Cohen the way i felt about liz phair back in the day, but i trust he wont sell out he is already too old, but I figured i'd make a cohen inspired mix before the hipsters get their claws in him the way they did Johnny Cash. I predict this will happen soon as there is a new documentary coming out about him "I'm your Man".
I find this type of music great for sitting around staring into space or laying around on the floor as i tend to do on occasion- i like to draw to it.
so got nothing better to do? why not lay around mix
1. Everybody Knows- Leonard Cohen
2. Last to Leave- Arlo Guthrie
3. Knockin' on Heaven's Door- Bob Dylan
4. Chemical- Joseph Arthur
5. One- Johnny Cash (i didnt realize until i heard this version that it is a song about coming out)
6. Nobody But You- John Cale
7. How's it Gonna End- Tom Waits
8. People aint no Good- Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
9. One by One- Billy Bragg & Wilco
10. Bird on a Wire- Leonard Cohen
11. Twilight- Elliot Smith
12. Perfect Day- Lou Reed (velvet underground didnt seem to fit but the alumni did :)
13. Concerning the Ufo Sighting in near Highland, IL- Sufjan Stevens (Illinoise the album that made Illinois hip..Casmir Pulaski day was always my fav. day off school)
14. Catch my Disease- Ben Lee (Greys anatomy soundtrack rules)
15. Grow old with Me- Mason Jennings
16. Another Lonely Day- Ben Harper
17. Hallelujah- Leonard Cohen (gasp, the ORIGINAL version of the most covered song ever. Did you know columbia declined to release it in the US orignally...I love canadians)
-I left out damien rice cause it was running long and we all know everybody loves him
Leonard Cohen and Liz Phair are pretty much the only music I'm snooty about, man i hope I am not a hipster. i've been freaked out the past few years now that music i like has become popular, not used to that -i grew up in a heavy rock town..same high school as members of Rage against the machine, tool, babes in toyland, etc- but i dont care that others like it and i dont claim to introduce anyone to anything...
(this whole entry probably just proved that i am a hipster in denial, I bet there is a sub-group name for people who are senstive about being called a hipster, what is it? Oh yeah Indie ;) people love to catergorize.
Can you tell i'm a soc major yet? some say it is pretty obvious. dont get me started on race and gender theory)
*You send it are no longer happy, fun, free, and easy...they are weird bitches..
UP ON MEGAUPLOAD*
so i am finally back in DC after spending pretty much all of last night, i was supposed to get in at 11pm, and this morning in airports for an 1.5 hour flight...at least they have free wireless...I lived on the internet yesterday.
yeah so the terror alert is at "red" for the first time...they search everything, water bottles, liquids are checked, babies...super fun day to fly into to Washington National.
best day to fly EVER
I amused myself on last.fm and of course being me I made another music mix, which i will post a bit later.
Caithlin De Marrais of Rainer Maria is super hot and my biggest newish crush...
Rainer Maria are pretty kick ass (and were at lolla!) I've seen them in Madison, my second home...i know three times as many people that went to UW than U of I (gag me), a few times and have always thought she was awesome and so cute and nice.
She is definitely on my top five...did i mention she is cute and nice and can sing and can play guitar and bass.
...i now have a super hot scar and multi-colored bruised breast...but my dad is making me yummy food, so it evens out....
not really, It is just another one I hadn't posted, but it is the last one I have in hiding.
This is just a random mix of songs I like but have no idea what to do with except mash all together.
So sit back and I guess smile with my random ass song mix
1. I hate everyone- Get Set Go
2. Lotion- Greenskeepers
3. Super Sex- Morphine
4. Yoshimi Battles the Pink robots- The Flaming Lips
5. Youthful Indiscretions- Jill Sobule (can you tell i really like her)
6. We Didnt Start the Fire- Billy Joel
7. Turning Japanese- Liz Phair (Liz Phair singing about masturbation...i bet green likes this song)
8. Baby One More Time- Dresden Dolls
9. I Lost My Dog- The Fiery Furnaces (If you like this check them out. They are different, but awesome..plus my sister is friends with the cello playing guy; they shared a stand in high school orchestra)
10. Fake French- le tigre
11. Save Ginny Weasley- Harry and the Potters
12. My hero, Zero- The Lemonheads
13. Pets- Porno for Pyros
14. Dead Duck- Badly Drawn Boy (yes it is only 40 sec, but I like it)
15. Peaches- President of the United States (has enough time past for this song to be fun again..i think so)
lolla was awesome. Wilco put on an amazing show, the shins sound was kinda fucked, Jordan Catalonos band (30 seconds to mars) sucks, Kids stage = Patti Smith!, Red Hot Chili Peppers are awesome but multiple staged encores kinda get on my nerves.
Interesting events of the day:
I hate clowns and porta-potties- I saw someone dressed like a clown get out of a porta-pottie, not 2 hours after I told my friend that would be like the scaryiest thing ever...Weird
There were these really creepy 15 year old girls in front of me grinding continuously and hanging all over each other...and ones mother... Does it make me a bad lesbian that i found this really annoying? ...plus they kept making really stupid comments and were in my eyeline to the stage. Every once and awhile they would turn around and look at me (while grinding into each others thighs) like they were expecting me to be all affronted and make a homophobic remark or something...not really I AM GAY bitches, you are just grody and would still be that way if you were straight. They were the type where i am not sure if they were actually gay or just in a creepy heavenly creatures phase...
I did see a bunch of cute lesbian couples, that made me smile
I ran into 3 people i hadnt seen since high school and someone from Americorps
(you can tell how long the file took to upload by my post mix rambles)
I saw Amanda Palmer (the dresden dolls) tits tonight... i am a happy little lezzie
they are giving out tons of these cards for 20 free songs from lolla artist so i have plenty i dont know what to do with so i'll put up some codes:
1. LTREF3FPYJTX
2. TPFKEEK4JTMN
3. 4L6H9L43J676
4. RRLFPPE3FXFR
to use go to itunes in the music store click on redeem. Enter the code and it will download twenty songs
they can only be used once so i guess post if you have used one
Enjoy...i am off to bathe in aloe
I'm driving back to DC from Chicago, so i have been making mixes all over the place...
here is my night/early morning road trip mix (it is no Almost Famous soundtrack, but it'll do in a pinch):
1. Road trippin'- Red Hot Chili Peppers
2. Winter in the Hamptons- Josh Rouse
3. River, Sea, Ocean- Badly Drawn Boy
4. Next Exit- Interpol
5. This Year- The Mountain Goats
6. Train from Kansas City- Neko Case
7. City of New Orleans- Arlo Guthrie
8. Shelter from the Storm- Bob Dylan
9. Wayfaring Stranger- Johnny Cash
10. Hoodoo Voodoo- Billy Bragg and Wilco
11. My My Metrocard- Le Tigre
12. Jumpers- Sleater- Kinney
13. The Thing- Pixies
14. Rock the Casbah- The Clash
15. Allison Road- Gin Blossoms
16. At the Stars- Better than Ezra
17. New Slang- The Shins
see what happens when there is a lull in podcasting... (though i have a feeling this will be another podcastalooza end of the week/weekend)...Probably be up by the time i work up the nerve to post this
*two days later...i figure i might as well post it...but i dont feel like pimping now..too many other music mixes out there currently..i dont want to overload, but i've had it done for over a week so enjoy if you have stumbled across it*
