selections from a book I wrote when I was 8:
farrots are the best animals in the world. They can be house pets. They have teeth as sharp as a razorblades. They run fast. I love Farrots.
I am a rude, running, red, ratworm.
When I got home from school yesterday I heard a strange noises coming from my bedroom. I quickly climed the stairs and slowly opened the door. Imagine my surprise when I saw a rat wearing my leather jacket and sunglassses. I decided to keep him.
so in case you havent picked up on it I have a thing for bad teenage melodrama on tv and film. Degrassi, South of Nowhere, Saved by the Bell, the OC, Dawsons....the list goes on with Buffy and Mean Girls having their own slots for actually being good. Anyway i love watching this shite...i have no idea why (actually i do this is what my blog entry is about) but I find it hilarious...I love the high drama and Canadian accents yelling "sorry, soorry, sorry."
It goes along with my love of people falling to their knees and screaming "NoOOOOOO" at the top of their lungs- preferably in the rain- the newest star wars movie had me rolling in the aisles. I love to laugh at stuff like that...my friends have banned me from seeing movies like the notebook cause i always get in trouble for laughing. whats that line "type who laughs at a funeral" The time i squirted tequila out of my noise laughing was when i made my sister cry and laughed because i felt uncomfortable (yeah..let me tell you this gets me into trouble alot)
anyway, I've been netflixing this show Popular that i used to watch for the past few weeks...i dont know if any of you know about it, but it was tammy lynn michaels big break and had two pretty hot girls with ALOT of subtext...so I've been watching this show thinking how great it would be if they made sam gay, when this week on afterellen's lesbian week I find out that if there was a third season sam was going to come out! so sad it got canceled, but it did get really weird in its 2nd season....oh and it was created by a bunch of gay men (creator of nip/tuck) and is awesomely campy.
besides having gay characters in teen shows being awesome in general, i have a theory that positive representation in teen shows is more powerful than in any other genre in the future acceptance of the homo, so yay for gay teens (and if SON would actually have some real affection be shown it would be nice too)
Rant over
(did i mention i also have a thing for disaster movies....)
Once upon a time aka the summer 0f 1991 there were riots in the streets of Mt. Pleasant in Washington DC and a bunch of awesome feminist punk rock lezzies banded together and formed a political movement known as Queercore. Thet encouraged women to be political, outspoken, and to literally hit the streets. The headers of this movement included Kathleen Hanna and Tobi Vail who began writing about queercore and women in the punk movement- girl riots, they called the Zine "Riot Grrrl." Across the country far far away in a land called Olympia, Washington these same women and a bunch of others started the musical aspect of the movement, and thus Riot Grrl was born.
Taking influences from the likes of PJ Harvey and Joan Jett, Kathleen Hanna,Tobi Vail, and Kathi Wilcox formed the band Bikini Kill. Other bands took to the movement, even in the UK, such as: L7, Bratmobile, Huggy Bear, Heavens to Betsy, Excuse 17, and Hole (yes, Hole is Riot Grrrl). These women's message of all girl punk and indie bands who controlled their own music took off and gained press, much to the chagrin of women like Hanna. In the true spirit of lesbian incestuousness Hanna split and formed Le Tigre. Sleater-Kinney was formed with Corin Tucker and Carrie Brownstien former members of Heavens to Betsy and Excuse 17. Riot Grrl was not only punk- The Breeders are heavily grrrl influenced indie formed by Tanya Donelly and Kim Deal of the Pixies.
Though Riot grrl was of the 90's its awesomeness still prevails in bands like the Yeah, Yeah, Yeah's, whose name comes from a Huggy Bear song. And in the hearts of punk and indie rock lezzies and a few particularly kick ass straight girls around the globe, especially those who don't want to be constantly defined as worshiping the ground that the indigo girls and folk lesbians walk on. Some might point out that all riot grrl member are not gay, but as they are of a movement called queercore and are pretty hot, I have chosen to claim them.
Then in the fall of 2006 a little bird named Green heavily hinted that I should make a grrrl mix, and here we are....
G doesnt like mega (nor do i) so here is the yousendit link
if you dont have a login you can use-
login: idontliketitles@hotmail.com
password: nipple
i'm also putting it up on podomatic, cause i feel guilty about the extra steps, and dont want to spend $5 which could be spent on alcohol (cut me a break i'm a poor college student who only puts something up every couple of months)
1. Pretend we're Dead- L7
2. To Be Broadcast- The Butchies
3. TGIF- Le Tigre
4. Get Rid of that Girl- The Donnas
5. Swamp Pussy- Babes in Toyland
6. The Scratch- 7 Year Bitch (riot grrl's apparently love the number 7)
7. Cherry Bomb- Joan Jett and L7
8. I Like Fucking- Bikini Kill
9. Rock Star- Hole
10. Homewrecker- Sarge
11. Keeping You- Tanya Donelly (this song is just pretty)
12. I Found a Reason [velvet underground cover]- Cat Power
13. Maps- Yeah, Yeah, Yeah's
14. Doe- The Breeders
15. Les and Ray- Le Tigre
16. New radio- Bikini Kill (as much Hanna as possible)
17. Ironclad- Sleater- Kinney (my fav. but most well known)
and we all live dykely ever after....
yeah my class was canceled this morning and i was bored so a mix resulted....havent done one in a while, so it is not one of my best, but i like it :)
I had a lovely thanksgiving with all of my brother-in-laws sister's s) transgender friends. I love my trans friends they are some of the bravest, strongest, and coolest people i know...the whole L word moira/max thing really pissed me off with how made him a total ass.
highlight of my trip- when my brother-in-law told my niece "remember aunt d's partner- shes still pretending to be a boy" yeah, that pissed me off way to prep an 8 year old to be bigoted, Ass. at least my niece was awesome with everything and my sister got pissed at him. he has very strict gender role expectations, he gave me a bunch of crap when i cut all my hair off and his always refusing to play "girl" games with my niece...at least he is in the minority in his and my family (and my nephew loves doing hair and shoes :)) his parents are awesome hippies who love to give him crap about his conservatism.
soo the mix. I have a thing for repeated sounds such as, do do do, da da, ba ba ba, tra la la, hence i figured i'd make a mix of some of my favorites: (on megaupload...i miss the old yousendit 'cause i still dont want to bother with the 5 minutes it would take to libsyn)
1. Tom's Diner - susanne vega
2. Da Da Da- TRio (remember that commercial?)
3. Breaking up the Girl- Garbage
4. Sound of Settling- Death Cab
5. Mrs. Robinson- Simon and Garfunkel
6. Do Over- Get Set Go
7. Secretly Jealous of Kurt Cobain- Coyote Shivers & his Grunge Ex
8. The Tra La La Song- Liz Phair (from my Lizelanious folder)
9. Pin - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
10. Yeah!- The Golden Dogs
11. Black Horse and a Cherry Tree- KT Tunstall
12. They- Jem (this used to be a alarm clock song- my old roommate cant stand it anymore)
13. Buddy Holly- Weezer (when i was a kid i thought it was "and your married to tyler moore")
14. Ode to My Family- The Cranberries (just couldn't leave the yodelers out...)
my ear hurts just thought i'd mention it, as it always gets infected right before long ass trips.
in other news it is Thanksgiving, one of my most favorite holidays.
i love food. i love food sooo bad....and pie, mmmm pie...
I have not been home for thanksgiving in 4 years and wont be again this year, I am going to my brother-in-laws hippies family thanksgiving in upstate new york.
yeah for hippies! and my his sister is gender queer and bring her trans-partner and friends, so it will be interesting. My super conservative sister and brother-in-law, old hippies, Cornell professors, my favorite little kids, the trans crowd, and little gaymo me :)
this is a farm that is powered by windmill and heated by logs, i really am excited i went there the winter i lived in a rehab house in Syracuse with no heat or working bathroom....i loved working for habitat for humanity (for real, building houses was the best thing i ever did)
...my sister was talking about how she was happy i was coming as a buffer, ha
i really need to come out..isnt that was thanksgiving means for the gays?
anything exciting happening for y'all?
i will be writing papers, yay college...
the dog represents all the work i have to do this weekend
i want to skip it all and go see imogen heap on monday
the little girl in this picture kicks major ass
the republicans are dropping like flys
election parties are way fun
do flies drop?
papers
man i'm soo ready for this i have been swamped for weeks campaigning and canvasing and phonebanking and flyering and drinking and ..... (notice school not really mentioned in there...need to work on that)
OHio was awesome, I never knew Columbus was sooo gay (but then kelka is from ohio so i should have guesses) and i really think the districts i was in will turn out for the good guys :)
today i wake up at 7 to head to one campaign office...then switch to VA in the afternoon with another group
then party 1, then "official" party, then real party to celebrate or drown our sorrows either way i love being in college and DC for elections (i should just give up all ready and admit i'll end up in politics)
VOTE and then i wish y'all a happily drunk election night!
I dont know if any of y'all are paying attention to the whole Ted Haggard gay sex scandal that has come up in the past few days. I am suspicious of the whole situation. Sure it would be fantastically funny if the head of the Evangelical push for the bans on marriage was paying a man for sex on a regular basis, but i dont trust the timing. In a way this could all backfire and end up revitalizing the christian republicans to vote against the great gay threat....which the GOP had been worried about as they have been freaking out about republican voter turn out looking to be horrible.
So a gay sex scandal within the christian ranks so close to the election seems a little fishy to me...hmmmm (but this might be giving the christian republicans too much credit)
I am off to campaign in Ohio this weekend.
VOTE
oh and Hilary or Obama?
I semi drunkenly fell on a corner in my apartment and it broke the skin on my lower back in a S shaped cut..it hurts like hell, but i love drunken battle wounds.
last night i was supposed to take out a couple little Freshmen lezzies to Apex and the Black Cat (we are scouting for the under 21 crowd because Apex ended ladies night as did chaos so there is now only one lezzie club in DC and it is 21 and up) But I changed my corrupting of the cute little freshman till next week and hung out and made a drunken dinner with a bunch of people here...i love waking up to 4 empty bottles of wine, 3 empty six packs, and an empty CASE of 22 ounce yeungling....i love good cheap beer...and the fact that 7 people did all that and no one got sick or passed out.
today- i am meeting them after church to go sex toy shopping as my roommate wants to help find my other roommate her perfect vibrator
then i am meeting my christian republican friend to study for our math test
then i am going to a phone bank for the gay and lesbian task force to call for Michigan and mass
i love the randomness
Dont forget to VOTE BITCHES and to set your clocks back
so at least to me it appears that blogger is down, but my blog is still around so i assume the beta switch saved me.
i find it slightly scary how off putting it is to have no blogs to haunt...i should use this time to do my homework but i really dont want to, i miss my center of the universe :(
*right after i posted this i could see the blogs again...was it just me?*
i have been super busy, yet dont have much to say
things that come to mind
my nephew is obsessed with eating goldfish with a spoon; i think something profound could be found in that.
I stained my awesome high thread count duvet cover today eating a cherry Popsicle in bed...it was worth it
i saw little children last night. the acting is amazing (plus there is a lot of naked kate winslet!) I was expecting more from them changing the ending, but all in all i would recommend it highly.
I love my film classes as this week alone i have free passes to the jesus documentary, sweetland, stranger than fiction, the tenacious d movie, and the queen. I only have time to see the queen...i really wanted to see stranger than fiction, but i had a meeting :( i guess i will just have to pay like everyone else...
i am sooo sick of school
so i had stopped watching lost after it started pissing me off when Shannon died for no reason and nothing ever happened, plus i had class when it was on. This past year i tried very hard to not hear or read anything about it, which i must say is an accomplishment as everybody and their mom watches lost and i read entertainment weekly religiously....i was just waiting until i had the time and inclination to try it out again; which is now. My sister got it on dvd and has been pestering me to catch up this week i had some downtime so i've been watching the second season. I am now totally sucked into it.
i should be writing a paper, doing homework,talking to people, studying for my midterm (i now have 10 1/2 hours to do all that)....but i just want to watch one more episode of lost
fucking lost
why does Kate have to keep on being so hot?
*i still havent started any of my work...it is 3 am, my paper is due at 9, i have class and homework for 8am, and a midterm at 9:45...i am apparently ready to be self destructive, curious that i am not paniced at the moment..this is a bad sign*
OMG i have had one of the craziest weekends ever ... which i will probably expand on later
right now I'm just dazied and trying to get everything i need to get done for school tomorrow that i have not even started(i fly from chicago to Dc at 8am ... go straight to school from airport for test, turn in paper i havent written, homework i havent done, go to meeting, go conduct an interview for an ethnography of a site i havent even been to for paper due on tues)
but it is totally worth the fun this weekend
oh and when i got back from milwaukee today I went to the windy city rollers roller derby play-offs with my brother... AWESOME
(lets see if blogger decides to recognize my posting again)
so i was totally planning on coming out to my sisters this week, thinking that going off to Wisconsin and being all gay was a great segway
and then i spent tues with the kids because B ended up in the hospital and then my dad came to town for one night and is sick and everybody is sick and i chickened out again, who needs drama on top of drama
I'll try again when i get home...and maybe I'll actually have something to blog about again
oh and i heart lauren graham
I am watching the L word on my laptop while my roommate is watching grease...it is a weird combination.
I go to milwaukee on thursday..i dont know why i am so nervous, i just tend to run and avoid the things i want the most.
I have been trying to finish coming out all weekend, emphasis on trying, i dont know what is stopping me...this week is kind of the kicker it will come out and i need be the one that does it- not the news and word of mouth.
...which is funny because i usually never shut up, but than i have been swamped this week
enjoy my cure:
oh, and i had a request for my first two mixes so here are megaupload links:
break up mix
beginning
My REI dividend came in today!
i love REi and co-op money from REI so that i can get new rock shoes for half the price
...not exciting to many, but exciting for me :)
i just got home from a fantastic weekend...and it did not include sex ;)
i have a big ass smile on my face
went out fri at 7 returned right now, i had to go to my sisters for rosh hashana straight from my friends place without changing and still hung over...my nephew completely flipped out in excitement when i got there, i cant explain how happy he was to see me...he wouldn't even let me out of his sight to go to the bathroom, and my niece was vying for my attention...That made me feel sooo loved :) and guilty for not visiting more
:)
...i now have to write a paper that is do sunday morning that i completly forgot about until this afternoon...papers should not be due on sunday fucking morning..it is such a killjoy
I love Colbert, and I love seeing where Colbert gets it from:
gay abortion conspiracy
Better know a district for Georgia's 11th
funny? hell yes
Angry? Hell yes
DO SOMETHING
Wisconsin votes on nov. 7th- help Fair Wisconsin
help HRC or anybody else
volunteer, donate, be out, just simply talk about it, but do something
ever known one of those people who always manages to say the wrong thing...i am one of those people.
i dont just say the wrong thing, i manage to give certain people the completely wrong impression of me..things that nobody who really knows me would ever think in a million years, but I can be almost pathological about coming off the wrong way around the same people over and over, like a viscous cycle, I get so worried about the last impression they got that I get all weird again.
I dont do this all the time I can only think of 2 people it has happened with...i'm just doing it again and wanted to vent (this is probably giving the wrong impression of me as well...arrgh)
i need to get over not being able to deal with somebody not liking me...damn catholics from the midwest
on a different non-emo note next tuesday is talk like a pirate day...ARR
over the years it seems that my favorite modern books are always made into movies a year or two after I have obsessed about the book (I apparently have very cinematic aka generic taste)
luckily they have turned out to be good movies (hollywood figured out how to properly adapt)
Girl, Interrupted, High Fidelity, About a Boy (I really like Nick Hornby), Bridget Jones, etc.
and then there was The Hours- my favorite book in the world- I was so worried when I heard it was being optioned and intrigued over how they would pull it off and it turned out amazing (even made me like meryl streep)
next up is Little Children - the casting is amazing (kate winslet) and the trailer is one of the best i've seen in a long time:
I have a feeling this will be a good movie year. media geek rant over.
1. make a real to do list
2. buy batteries
3. math homework/ dont sleep through my alarm and miss math again
4. history paper
5. read 200 pages on Florentine divorce, 100 pages of weber, and economist articles (arent you jealous)
6. hang out in dupont for my ethnography project (now arent you really jealous?)
7. go to target
8. buy shampoo (aussie aussie aussie - i like the smell)
9. pick out a new hair paste (it is sad how many dif. hair products i have)
10. get my hair trimmed (talk sister out of cutting nephews hair)
11. buy a tv
12. catch up on weeds
13. catch up on project runway
14. take posters off of floor, put on wall
15. buy vodka, tequila, beer...you know kitchen basics
16. laundry
17. locate my favorite underwear
18. go harass IT again about 3 weeks without cable/Internet
19. try not to buy a new pair of shoes
20. return sisters car :(
21. go to the pool bar, practice for my hustling career
22. get new jeans (i am insanely picky...and need a pair that i have to unbutton to pull down)
23. call cute girl who gave me her # (see 17)
24. discourage boy who is facebook/in class stalking me (i am around a 5 on the scale , maybe if i went all out and became an 8/9 every boy i talk to in class wouldnt ask me out...you'd think the equal marriage triangle rainbow sticker on my notebook would give a tiny clue..that and the fact that i am vocally gay in class)
25. finish coming out (i only have 2 left!)
26. finally finish East of Eden
27. get my writing sample from magazine intern.
28. go to current internship
29. practice saying no to sister ie baby sitting (12 hrs today--for free)
30. do something about empty livingroom (though we did steal a table on fri)
31. get more work suitable outfits (i have a ridiculously t-shirt heavy wardrobe)
32. learn to cook
33. dont buy any new panties for awhile (i had a little too much shopping fun sun.)
34. eat more than once a day (i need to go grocery shopping...i have cheese, goldfish, soy nuts, beer, and miso soup)
35. cut back a little on running (I have run my little ass off lately--see #s 22 and 34)
36. finally see an inconvenient truth
37. steal my sisters entertainment weekly
38. steal the washington post from the dorms
39. get a subscription to WP, change mailing address for EW and Paste
40. call back a shit ton of people
41. go to sleep before 3 am (i get up at 6:30/7)
42. ease back on number of long rambling posts
43. practice my abcs
44. not get too riled up about how the new facebook feed is the social/poltical issue of my generation---think about what if that much passion was invested in gay rights, the war,..anything but fucking facebook
45. pay attention to #42
its sept 11 so i'll do my story (as i feel bad making an entry without mention):
I had been home alone for a few days and was at school taking an AP euro test on the spanish conquistadors (i remember exactly what i was writing) when someone came in and whispered something to my teacher, she went white, but didnt say anything...then our douche principal came over the loud speaker saying he had to make a very special announcement (in an excited tone of voice where we were expecting a homecoming date request..it was not)...we all left the class for the tvs in the cafeteria and were watching live when the towers fell.
school was so weird that day, the streets of chicago were filled with people walking /running home (i cant imagine what NY was like), and I became addicted to the news, for weeks i always had it on.
personally for me one of the most disturbing things was that my dad had a 7:45 am United flight out of boston logan on 9/11...he was in the air when the planes hit...he couldnt get through to me by phone for 5 hours and he couldnt get home for 3 days (he ended up sharing a rental car with a few other stranded Chicagoans)
I am truly sorry for the victims, families, and anyone who lost someone
on a lighter note to cheer people up on the most depressing of days
I went underwear shopping yesterday which made me quite happy and ran across some panties that reminded me of molly ringwald:
I also found out that my favorite underwear ever AE boycut is so successful that they are opening a whole separate store for it...which i find exciting as the only thing i ever buy at american eagle is underwear
*I just got back from a class where we talked about mia Kirshner (as i was the only person in the class who knew who she was) for about a half hour, and then analyzed a stripping scene of hers from exotica--nice class*
...I can leave for the bar at 12 to watch football
fresno sucks on so many levels...
I miss living across from the football stadium
Punk mix...i've been wanting to do it for awhile, but punk isnt exactly everyone's cup of tea (it can get cloying...i try to avoid this)
hey, what can i say I have a weakness for punk rock girls ;)
so grab your hair gel and punk out with your faux hawk
1. Anarchy in the UK- Sex Pistols
2. Take the Skinheads Bowling- Camper Van Beethoven
3. Punk Rock Girl- Dead Milkmen
4. Hook it Up- The Donnas
5. The Scratch- 7 Year Bitch
6. My Girlfriends Shower Sucks- Goldfinger
7. I Never Promised you a Rose- The suicide Machines
8. Search and Destroy- Iggy & the Stooges
9. Don't Think you Wanna- Sleater-Kinney
10. Pin- Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs
11. Sex is in fashion- The Adored
12. Things seem all Fucked up today- Screeching Weasel
13. Hope- The Decendents
14. Straight A's- Dead Kennedys
15. Sheena is a Punk Rocker- Rancid covering the Ramones
16. Good Rats- Dropkick Murphys
17. White Minority- Black Flag (nazi punks should die)
18. Diagnosis- The Weakerthans
19. Redondo Beach- Patti Smith
20. A Place in the Heart- Social Distortion
21. Better off Dead- Bad Religion (i once saw them open for blink-182..it made me mad)
22. Mr. Ramones- The Mr. T Experience (i lost all of my ramones and am sad)
*songs are short so it looks longer than it is....this is actually my favorite mix since my first*
you just need to login to you send it now...i love how they change every five minutes...i really should just libsyn, but that would be admiting i kinda podcast..and i dont talk so i dont podcast.
of the fun relaxed kind
so I am out to my roommates and anyone who asks, but I'm meeting a bunch of new people so it has come up a lot recently (i never noticed until recently just how much straight girls just meeting each other talk non-stop about boys...i'm always like yeah, not really my thing...dont you think that chick has a nice ass)
so anyway a bunch of us after we got back yesterday (after trying a short cut home up a gross hill, barbed wire, and three fences...long story...but i kick ass at climbing fences) were tired and dirty so we decided to just have a greys anatomy marathon ( I love greys anatomy)
my friend: "don't you think merideth's boobs are fake"
me: immediate "no"
everyone else: "maybe"
friend 2: "why did you answer so quickly?"
me: "well they are real..look they are lower than fake ones would be...and the right ones a tiny bit smaller"
another girl: "but she is so skinny...they have to be fake"
me: "small girls can have breasts, and meredith's aren't that big" *gesture toward myself*
friend 2: "who knew you were such a breast connoisseur?"
me: *sly smile* "it takes practice"
my roommate: * laughs*"you are such a lesbian"
me: *laughs* "yep"
I make music mixes and really didnt want to do my math homework so I made a response to PB Wolf and Slo's questions:
Soundtrack of my life: [back with you send it]
Opening song: When I grow up - Garbage (used as the ring tone for me the world over)
first love: Supernova- Liz Phair
Current/latest love: Fast Girls- Sarge
Life changing/ revelation song: Hurt - Johnny Cash covering NIN
Ending Track: Miss Halfway- Anya Marina
my internet is down :(
so I am at the library :)
It is amazing how impossible it is to get anything done for school without the internet; everything is computerized and i need to do my readings (all online)
got lost in adams morgan last night...DC is sooo much better than eugene. To quote the people roaming 18th street "wooooooo"
my day defintiely brightened this morning when i walked into my 8am class (gag me, but i intern the rest of the day) and my professor looks exactly like jordana brewster, but hotter and really fucking smart.
getting to class at 8 am isnt looking to bad anymore...
maybe i should take spanish ;)
Tina Fey= School geek hot
I finally start school tomorrow after my lovely two weeks of summer (no i'm not bitter at all) I actually did have a great time over this summer, it was nice and relaxing, I spent a great deal of time with my family which was great as when i was on the west coast I only was able to see people once a year, I came out to the men in my family (i keep chickening out with my sisters) and I have made it out of my first significant break up intact.
I had orientation this week (if you haven't figured it out because i tend to be incoherent I just transferred colleges) Everybody I met there seems to be christian, but so far nice christian not scary. I am going to go rowing with a (strt)girl this weekend- i have always wanted to try crew and I need to keep my arms fit for rock climbing until i find a rock gym i can afford. I am also going to get involved in some activities to meet more people I am on the same wavelength with (aka gay). My school is on the list of best places to go if you are gay and have a really active GLTBA, so I guess that should be my doorway in to gay college DC.
I met with my advisor and he wants to move me over to the honors college, which means more work for me, but would pretty much ensure my way into the grad/law school of my choice (we need another law student in Kelka land) I have this term to decide if i like the program (do i even want to go to grad school?). It feels so weird to get this, i was such a screw up in high school (youngest child of major overachiving family syndrome) and now i am in one of the best honors programs in the country...who knew?
I am nervous.
I can't spell.
I really want to be a bartender.
need to clean, need a new theme for a mix, need some motivation to jump start your mad unpacking skills (i know i do)
try my house cleaning mix and wonder why in the hell it reminded me of cleaning
1. Like Humans Do- David Byrne
2. Anti-to-do list- Beau Sia
3. I was thinking i could clean up for Christmas- Aimee Mann
4. Throw it All Away- Brandi Carlile
5. Something to talk About- Badly Drawn Boy ( i find this song great for loading dishes for some reason) *at this point it gets peppy...i start out cleaning grumpy*
6. Mirror in the Bathroom- The English Beat
7. Never Enough- The Cure
8. Small Strokes - Spoon
9. Like eating Glass- Bloc Party
10. Hold me Now - The Thompson Twins (clean like Alice!...dont forget the nose strip)
11. Time after Time- Sarge
12. Give Me love- Cerrone- mix by Dimitri from paris (for certain someones who like disco)
13. Legend in my Living Room - Annie Lennox
14. Celebrity Sanctum- Dogs Die in Hot Cars (my favorite band name)
15. Day like Any- Amy LaVere
16. c'est Si Triste- Ann Savoy
17. Oh My- Mellowdrone
18. Everyday is a Holiday- Esthero
19. Come on Home- Franz Ferdinand
*it is up on megaupload as you send it changed and i dont feel like libsyning, but let me know if it is too big a pain in the ass and i'll figure something else out*
I hate phone interviews...i am so much better in person, but they are all nerve racking. I just finished my interview for an internship that i really really want not five minutes ago. I think it went fine, but i was a little more flustered than usual (not good when internship involves fund raising- i am also moving and baby sitting concurrently- i sould have mention that as an example of my multitasking skills) and actually said i was nervous , oops, i can only hope it came off as endearing....
I am quite skilled in answering bullshit questions like "explain a time when you had to deal with a situtation that you could not handle" and "explain a time where you had to answer a douchey question with out sounding like a complete ass hat"
I want to see the handbook where people get these fucking questions...do they really use peoples responses?
hopefully it did not go as bad as i feel currently...i have never interviewed for something and not gotten it ( and i have done 5 phone interviews in the past 2 months) ... i hope this doesnt break my streak
anyway i finished a mix last night when i was nervously not sleeping. I will post it when i get back as i just realized i have to go pick up my sister from work and then get my nephew...
I have had a crazay week...
i both hate and love moving:
i love decorating, new stuff, and new people
i hate anything associated with packing, those hard plastic connectey things, new bruises, and new people
i both hate and love ikea:
i love the hundreds of little rooms, how it would be almost as cool a place to runaway to as the Met ala "from the mixed up files of mrs. basil e. frankwiler," and ...its Ikea!
i hate going there the sunday of moving in for 4 major colleges within 30 mins, moving/ putting it together (well i'll admit i do like to put things together), that they had just sold out of the bedframe I wanted...i am so sick of this air mattress
i both hate and love my new apartment:
i love how it is mine, it has lots of windows, my roommates seem nice and normal so far, and it has a dishwasher
i hate how it is a little far from campus (but i didnt want to go back to dorms and it is HELLA expensive to live near my new school...hella), the building is only about half students so other res. kinda glare at you, and it is still hella expensive
I will probably get another mix out sometime early this week as i am procrastinating getting stuff done for school...
speaking of my itunes is now at 6994.... i only need 6 more to reach 7000, granted i am lazy and have yet to rip most of my CD collection over, but i want my 7000 song to be awesome...any suggestions?
Cause Mr. T just is funny...and so are goats 
This baby hippo adopted a 100 year old tortoise as its mother
This is what i have chosen to call my initial shutter, feeling of uneasiness, and guilt i get whenever i am reminded of my "hetero" experiences. I am wondering if i am the only one that feels like this sometimes.
I have always known something was different about me. I was never [ever] interested in boys, my friends had joked since grade school that i was asexual. There were always rumors that I was gay- I even had DYKE written across my locker in 8th grade. Now I dont think i look like a big dykeo, and I didnt back then either; it had something to do with me rebuking the advances of pretty powerful boy in junior high land and never showing the slightest interest in anybody else.
I had a lot of other stuff that was more important for me going on at the time than sexual orientation so i never really bothered to process the fact that i was actually gay, I just knew i wasn't attracted to men...i thought it would just happen eventually. I became very adept at turning down men and everytime i have done this i feel guilty for hurting their feelings. I even let people think i was gay (i have never denied it) before i even fully accepted that i was, because it made things easier, a big joke, and i think i always knew in the back of my mind that it was true.
I had a few very very drunk stupid encounters with men (that never went "all the way") and thought then that the reason that it felt just so wrong was that they were wrong, i was drunk, and that maybe i just had intimacy problems. Later i started to realize what was really right for me but being me i had to test to make sure i wasnt just crazy.
My last and final straw was when i met the "perfect boy," that i just couldnt think of a good reason to turn down. He was hot, a volunteer fire-fighter, in a band, smart, funny, sweet, and he absolutely adored me...every straight girls dream and I flat out used him. He was perfect and after a few dates and few glasses of wine i did have sex with him. It felt like i was in somebody elses body, that i was a character in a play: as green said once "insert moan, ass grab here." I knew for sure it was wrong and he was just so shocked and hurt when i broke it off with him, i still feel horrible about it. Then I was with a girl and everything felt right. It all just clicked and i finally understood who I was and what i had been missing all those years.
But even a few years later, i still feel bad about it, and have to shake out a little bit when i remember my hetero experiences...he was playing bright eyes and to this day it holds a connection in my head to straight sex.
Has anyone else ever felt like this or am i just a freak?
I choose to think it just proves that i am GAY GAY GAY!
*i apologize for the serious post, I went out with my new roommates tonight and was continuously hit on by men...that and coming off hard liquor makes me all serious*
*i have been working on this post all day I kept getting called away and then coming back with a completely different subject, but i dont feel like completely redoing it. So if you bother to read it forgive me for the discombobulation, beer makes me chatty, my spelling is horrid, and my ellipses annoy even me....blame my text message crazy friend C. (my heteroflexible fantastic old roommate who loves the L word and Carmen's ass as much as I)*
I had the final of my summer class today and I now never have to take a science class again if i dont want to -- this makes me quite happy
a semester of molecular biology shoved into 4 weeks, my internship, babysitting 30 hrs a week, and misc personal and logistical crappola thrown in all have added up to a pretty hectic summer so far
but I got to fit Lolla in and this morning S. finally said my name (L sounds are kind of hard for babies)
*he just ran up to me squealing my name, gave me a hug, and handed me a ball...this is why I really dont mind that they take up so much of my time*
now i will have time to actually go out and be social for the next couple weeks before real school starts up
I move into my new place next week which means i will have my own space- i didnt realize how much i needed it until now
I think I will go out and do some "gay shit" this weekend and maybe get around to trying skype out (i dont know why i am still kinda freaked out by skype and now i feel it is way to late in the game, but my name is lou_la, who knows i might work up the courage to show up on it)
for now I have my middle sisters apartment to myself and tonight i am just going to decompress and enjoy being by myself with nothing to do for the first time in two months
dc = gay, i should join in on that
I drove by SugarBush Lane today...I think I need to go back and take a picture
I'm amused that green and all those that follow the queen have finally shown up on last.fm- I kinda pussied out and changed my user picture
One of my best friends (since 1st grade) introduced me to last.fm awhile ago and i was just using it with her, she is going to be so weirded out when goes on and sees just a small peek into the Kelkian universe now that it has branched there, so HEY K. if she finds her way over here, the idea of everyday life people here kinda freaks me out, but i am not the type to bother with covering anything up...she knows i listen to L word related podcasts and that there is a forum, but it is so out of character for me to do anything on the internet it will totally freak her out
...being confused and closeted in high school led me to never talk about my personal life with people i knew then, I'm still taking steps to repair those relationships- another reason I guess for why it is important to be out
I listen to a range of music, but one of my signatures is what my old roommate called old man depresso music...what can I say i have loved raspy smoky voice for a long ass time (and the modern evolutions)
My favorite being Leonard Cohen, one of the most influential men in music, yet talked about less than i would expect even though his songs show up on a shit load of soundtracks...(around 4 or 5 times on the l word alone), there are around 1,000 covers of his songs. I kind of feel about Leonard Cohen the way i felt about liz phair back in the day, but i trust he wont sell out he is already too old, but I figured i'd make a cohen inspired mix before the hipsters get their claws in him the way they did Johnny Cash. I predict this will happen soon as there is a new documentary coming out about him "I'm your Man".
I find this type of music great for sitting around staring into space or laying around on the floor as i tend to do on occasion- i like to draw to it.
so got nothing better to do? why not lay around mix
1. Everybody Knows- Leonard Cohen
2. Last to Leave- Arlo Guthrie
3. Knockin' on Heaven's Door- Bob Dylan
4. Chemical- Joseph Arthur
5. One- Johnny Cash (i didnt realize until i heard this version that it is a song about coming out)
6. Nobody But You- John Cale
7. How's it Gonna End- Tom Waits
8. People aint no Good- Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
9. One by One- Billy Bragg & Wilco
10. Bird on a Wire- Leonard Cohen
11. Twilight- Elliot Smith
12. Perfect Day- Lou Reed (velvet underground didnt seem to fit but the alumni did :)
13. Concerning the Ufo Sighting in near Highland, IL- Sufjan Stevens (Illinoise the album that made Illinois hip..Casmir Pulaski day was always my fav. day off school)
14. Catch my Disease- Ben Lee (Greys anatomy soundtrack rules)
15. Grow old with Me- Mason Jennings
16. Another Lonely Day- Ben Harper
17. Hallelujah- Leonard Cohen (gasp, the ORIGINAL version of the most covered song ever. Did you know columbia declined to release it in the US orignally...I love canadians)
-I left out damien rice cause it was running long and we all know everybody loves him
Leonard Cohen and Liz Phair are pretty much the only music I'm snooty about, man i hope I am not a hipster. i've been freaked out the past few years now that music i like has become popular, not used to that -i grew up in a heavy rock town..same high school as members of Rage against the machine, tool, babes in toyland, etc- but i dont care that others like it and i dont claim to introduce anyone to anything...
(this whole entry probably just proved that i am a hipster in denial, I bet there is a sub-group name for people who are senstive about being called a hipster, what is it? Oh yeah Indie ;) people love to catergorize.
Can you tell i'm a soc major yet? some say it is pretty obvious. dont get me started on race and gender theory)
*You send it are no longer happy, fun, free, and easy...they are weird bitches..
UP ON MEGAUPLOAD*
so i am finally back in DC after spending pretty much all of last night, i was supposed to get in at 11pm, and this morning in airports for an 1.5 hour flight...at least they have free wireless...I lived on the internet yesterday.
yeah so the terror alert is at "red" for the first time...they search everything, water bottles, liquids are checked, babies...super fun day to fly into to Washington National.
best day to fly EVER
I amused myself on last.fm and of course being me I made another music mix, which i will post a bit later.
Caithlin De Marrais of Rainer Maria is super hot and my biggest newish crush...
Rainer Maria are pretty kick ass (and were at lolla!) I've seen them in Madison, my second home...i know three times as many people that went to UW than U of I (gag me), a few times and have always thought she was awesome and so cute and nice.
She is definitely on my top five...did i mention she is cute and nice and can sing and can play guitar and bass.
...i now have a super hot scar and multi-colored bruised breast...but my dad is making me yummy food, so it evens out....
not really, It is just another one I hadn't posted, but it is the last one I have in hiding.
This is just a random mix of songs I like but have no idea what to do with except mash all together.
So sit back and I guess smile with my random ass song mix
1. I hate everyone- Get Set Go
2. Lotion- Greenskeepers
3. Super Sex- Morphine
4. Yoshimi Battles the Pink robots- The Flaming Lips
5. Youthful Indiscretions- Jill Sobule (can you tell i really like her)
6. We Didnt Start the Fire- Billy Joel
7. Turning Japanese- Liz Phair (Liz Phair singing about masturbation...i bet green likes this song)
8. Baby One More Time- Dresden Dolls
9. I Lost My Dog- The Fiery Furnaces (If you like this check them out. They are different, but awesome..plus my sister is friends with the cello playing guy; they shared a stand in high school orchestra)
10. Fake French- le tigre
11. Save Ginny Weasley- Harry and the Potters
12. My hero, Zero- The Lemonheads
13. Pets- Porno for Pyros
14. Dead Duck- Badly Drawn Boy (yes it is only 40 sec, but I like it)
15. Peaches- President of the United States (has enough time past for this song to be fun again..i think so)
lolla was awesome. Wilco put on an amazing show, the shins sound was kinda fucked, Jordan Catalonos band (30 seconds to mars) sucks, Kids stage = Patti Smith!, Red Hot Chili Peppers are awesome but multiple staged encores kinda get on my nerves.
Interesting events of the day:
I hate clowns and porta-potties- I saw someone dressed like a clown get out of a porta-pottie, not 2 hours after I told my friend that would be like the scaryiest thing ever...Weird
There were these really creepy 15 year old girls in front of me grinding continuously and hanging all over each other...and ones mother... Does it make me a bad lesbian that i found this really annoying? ...plus they kept making really stupid comments and were in my eyeline to the stage. Every once and awhile they would turn around and look at me (while grinding into each others thighs) like they were expecting me to be all affronted and make a homophobic remark or something...not really I AM GAY bitches, you are just grody and would still be that way if you were straight. They were the type where i am not sure if they were actually gay or just in a creepy heavenly creatures phase...
I did see a bunch of cute lesbian couples, that made me smile
I ran into 3 people i hadnt seen since high school and someone from Americorps
(you can tell how long the file took to upload by my post mix rambles)
I saw Amanda Palmer (the dresden dolls) tits tonight... i am a happy little lezzie
they are giving out tons of these cards for 20 free songs from lolla artist so i have plenty i dont know what to do with so i'll put up some codes:
1. LTREF3FPYJTX
2. TPFKEEK4JTMN
3. 4L6H9L43J676
4. RRLFPPE3FXFR
to use go to itunes in the music store click on redeem. Enter the code and it will download twenty songs
they can only be used once so i guess post if you have used one
Enjoy...i am off to bathe in aloe
I'm driving back to DC from Chicago, so i have been making mixes all over the place...
here is my night/early morning road trip mix (it is no Almost Famous soundtrack, but it'll do in a pinch):
1. Road trippin'- Red Hot Chili Peppers
2. Winter in the Hamptons- Josh Rouse
3. River, Sea, Ocean- Badly Drawn Boy
4. Next Exit- Interpol
5. This Year- The Mountain Goats
6. Train from Kansas City- Neko Case
7. City of New Orleans- Arlo Guthrie
8. Shelter from the Storm- Bob Dylan
9. Wayfaring Stranger- Johnny Cash
10. Hoodoo Voodoo- Billy Bragg and Wilco
11. My My Metrocard- Le Tigre
12. Jumpers- Sleater- Kinney
13. The Thing- Pixies
14. Rock the Casbah- The Clash
15. Allison Road- Gin Blossoms
16. At the Stars- Better than Ezra
17. New Slang- The Shins
see what happens when there is a lull in podcasting... (though i have a feeling this will be another podcastalooza end of the week/weekend)...Probably be up by the time i work up the nerve to post this
*two days later...i figure i might as well post it...but i dont feel like pimping now..too many other music mixes out there currently..i dont want to overload, but i've had it done for over a week so enjoy if you have stumbled across it*
Here are the 700 Hobo Names You Requested
as read by John Hodgman
it really is quite something
http://www.areasofmyexpertise.com/
Daily Show Appearances
..its dull as doldrums (i've been waiting to use that phrase for so long) around here as everyone i hang out with is gone for the week and then i'm going home. I actually have my sisters car and apartment all to myself, for the the time being...so i was working up the courage to try skype out, finally- i am NEVER alone..i've been sleeping on a couch- also flighty little me just discovered by accident last week that my laptop has a microphone somewhere on it...and then i lose my voice. Completely...little typhoid mary children....so cute, yet so diseased..at least i get paid for it (i've been watching more than just my sisters kids lately)
apparently i'm not meant to join the skype crowd...
so i'm getting annoyingly excited about lollapalooza; believe me i havent been this excited about anything in ages. It is kinda freaking my friends out...ahh the joys of getting myself off medication...I did grow up to be (relatively) stable after all, surprise, surprise (hey i even grew up). Plus it is renewed excitment as last week it looked like i couldn't go, but then i realized i was actually really upset about it and got my surgery moved to a different date. Its amazing how the most liberating day of my life was the day that i realized i was the only one who could come to my rescue. That was two years ago this week and now I am happy, all on my own, and drug free.
...man, i need to stop reading confessional blogs and memoirs, sorry. I say sorry too much, i should stop that, i'm always apologizing for nothing, sorry ;)
ANYway...i made a little mix for lollapalooza:
1. Gold digger- Kayne West
2. Tell Me Baby- Red Hot Chili Peppers (my cursed band, i've been trying to see them since 7th grade and something always goes wrong)
3. Combat Rock- Sleater-Kinney (tear...this is one of their last shows)
4. Shores of California- The Dresden Dolls
5. Secret Heart- Feist
6. Falling- Ben Kweller
7. So Says I- The Shins
8. In a Future Age- Wilco (this is like my family's band, we all love them....and Johnny Cash)
9. I need Some Sleep- Eels (this is from the shrek 2 soundtrack, which is a surprisingly decent album, for real)
10. Do Ya realize- The Flaming Lips
11. Naked as we came- Iron and Wine (remember when the l word played more than Betty)
12. Wonderwall- Ryan Adams (covering oasis..who were at my first concert)
13. The Sound of Settling- Death Cab for Cutie
14. Blankest Year- Nada Surf ( i love this band)
15. Twin Falls- Built to Spill
16. Twin cinemas- The New Pornographers
17. Fraud in the 80's- Mates of State
18. Crazy- Gnarls Barkley (imo the best summer pop song since hey ya)
19. Kiss Off- Violent Femmes (playing opposite S-K, so i wont see them, but i've seen them 5 times and they always end with this *they do a lot of free midwestern concerts*)
20. Steady, as she goes- The Raconteurs
21. Cause = time- Broken Social Scene (longish song...)
I have discovered that I really like making music mixes, it gives me something to do while S. is napping. I'll probably make some more...
aren't breast ultrasounds hot...
so awhile ago i developed a weird ass lump in my breast....which led to a great deal of stress and being felt up by old man doctors, old female doctors, and one hot med student.
I noticed it in the shower, had my ex-gf confirm it, and then after convincing me it wasnt just my imagination I went to the doctor...this was in december
I had an ultrasound and they found the above which is a fibroandenoma- a benign tumor
My mother died of breast cancer at 54 in 2000. She had it the first time when i was in 2nd grade, the second time when i was 12, had a double mastectomy; it came back when i was 16 and metastasized to her liver...the story of so many peoples lives
she was an amazing person who never once was bitter or complained, she was finally happy with her life and didnt let anything mess with that. I could write all day about her
because of my family history they took this all very seriously and I had a couple biopsies over christmas- GIANT needles in my boob, i replayed an episode of the L word in my head- it was benign of course- the hardest part was telling my dad and then my sisters that they really wanted us to get the genetic test that alerts you if you carry the gene...i refused- i dont want to know at 22 that I most likely will get cancer by 40, but i will monitor more closely
anyway they decided to leave it for awhile and check it again 6 months later...it is now 6 months later and they want to remove it for cautions sake, so next week I have lollapalooza followed by a super fun surgery...but as bette says "tina had a lumpectomy and you can barely see the scar" (needless to say this season was sooo much fun to watch)
i dont really know why i'm posting this I just felt like sharing....so check your boobs even if you are young...it can be a fun and interactive activity ;)
...heres to hoping i at least get another hot med student
My sister was giving me crap for wearing this shirt when i took my niece to the movies..cracks me up...my nephew loves my shirts he checks what i'm wearing as soon as he wakes up, its so cute, B wasnt so happy about his neighing sounds to the blood thirsty unicorn
I love threadless..only problem now is that i have introduced so many people to it that we all have them now, but there are plenty so its still awesome, we all sit around talking about them..at my brother and i's friendly neighborhood bar a few weeks ago we made a drunken chart of how threadless has spread, i was a major nexus...it was hilarious because i introduced him to it 2-3 years ago..and at the bar that night were 5 people who had found it through us and then told others...anywho go to threadless.com the best t-shirt sight ever (straight from chicago bitches)..they are not as good as they used to be, but every once in awhile there is a great one
i need to call my father. I just realized that i have not talked to him in weeks...wonder what he is up to, and i need to get all sorts of crap done, plus lease shite figured out..he is very useful and intimating when i need him to be, can get me out of anything that i cant talk my way out of..all this from a 60 year old really nice man who ends phone calls with "love ya much"...i love my dad he cracks me up...he just has a penchant for crazy ass women
off now to meet roommate chick at the metro..feels like a blind date...i'm not sure how to describe myself to her - medium height with bright red glasses, bright red shoes, an interesting t-shirt and hair reminiscent of harry potter after a hard night
wish me luck...
for you dirty dancing fans...i was looking through my old pictures and found these pics of the hotel from dirty dancing where i lived for a few months while doing and environmental project (as you can see the lake is disappearing)... it wasnt snowy the whole time, and is probably one of the best times i've ever had in my entire life, the ten of us had the whole off season hotel all to ourselves while we demoed buildings, designed benches, and cleared trails and drank ourselves into oblivion
...beer pong in the baby corner baby!!
I hadn't done a hot girl post in a while, so i give you, and myself Alyson Hannigan..my dorky quirky high school crush..so cute
I am proud of myself currently for finally figuring out how to convert my avi files, and dvds!, to the mp4 format that plays on my ipod...its very possibly old info to everyone else, but i am so excited about it...now i can watch the L word and pretty much anything i want from the palm of my hand on public transportation
(now all my law school friends can inform me of how much jail time i can get for this..hey if i bought the dvd, i should be able to use it for my own purposes, i do actually buy somethings)
its amazing how a little device that i have had for only 3 months has now become an extension of my body....i love my ipod
I have a bunch of interviews/ meet ups with peeps looking for roommates this week, lets hope i dont get anybody like this, but i bet it would make for a great blog entry....ok this picture is already starting to gross me out....i am SO glad i'm gay.
I sent out a few e-mails this evening and already have a few meetings set up, so i hope it wont be too judgy, judgy...and that the people arent complete freaks.
now i am trying to decide if i come out to people right away, when we are seeing if we are a good fit, or wait until i know them a little better. I'm not a shout it from the rooftops type, but i'm definitely not a closet case either...i guess i should just play it by ear, but i for sure dont want to set things up and then end up living with closet homophobes.
Any advice? i have never had to find a roommate before; i have always known people. I am just not sure how these things work, i have never had to interview to be someones friend before...i feel like the biggest tool. It serves me right for only hanging out with mid-twenties friends of my sister everytime i come to visit...speaking of i was out in mt. pleasant with my middle sister and her work friends, one of whom is this total granola dyke who knew the whole history of the bars and gays of mt. plsnt, it was a pretty interesting conversation.
so I was on the metro this afternoon and was fairly amused when this weird old lady sitting in front of me started freaking out and yelling at the new form of advertising they have around metro center - there are now these huge flashing target ads in the dark tunnel while the train is moving, i've never seen anything quite like it before- i love crazay people on the train
a few years ago, when i lived in the part of DC we had to trick cabs to take us, my friend B. and I always ended up sitting next to this same old heroin addict man who would vomit and foam from the mouth, it was gross and extremely sad..he'd sit next to us on the bus, he'd sit next to us on the metro..coming from both directions on multiple days...it really started to freak us out...i swear i saw this same man sitting on a bench the other day..i'm would think i hallucinated the whole thing if i didnt have other people to confirm it
public transportation makes life interesting...i love it
as you can probably tell, i only have a disc with my old high school assignment shit left..
this was a mixed media copy of van gogh (i used chalk pastel, my key medium...i like to use my fingers) and obviously added the people.
..i thought it worked for my post topic
cover letters out- check
realizing there is no checkmark key- check
resumes out- check
caught up on podcast-o-rama- 3/4 check
bio test- check (o chem is my hell)
article for non-paying internship published- check
annoying whiney mood over- check
alcohol- check
living situation- i think i need to find a new place (bureaucracy at intended it weird and not getting back to me)..craigslist here i come, but for now i'm off the couch and onto an air mattress in the study; exciting i know (i dont even have a room at home anymore...its fun being a broke ass kinda homeless college student)
coming out to my sisters- as soon as their work crisis is resolved (all of their upper management quit or got fired)
last post of the day (i promise)- check
panty check (red boy cut with white trim ala carmen in no touching scene)- check
man there were so many casts up today and i, of course, am only busy on the days everybody updates...but boring busy..i had written about it but it was so boring it gave me a headache, stupid shit like internship applications, forms, bio tests, and babysitting...i start real aka paid work soon
least boring snippits
-i totally cut my feet up at the gaypont farmers market this sunday..cute flip flops not so cute when i have to walk - but soo many gay peeps...i have seen more gay folk in the past few days than in the past year
- i need to figure out my living situation badly
-restaurant week kicks it (even if it is just Bethesda and not DC's)
-hello to everybody who commented, glad you liked it :)
-there is a giant (ten story) shark tail and fins coming out of the discovery building near my nieces camp in honor of shark week ...it is so fucking awesome
Here is my Break up mix (at times most people need one so enjoy):
1. Dirty Buisness- The Dresden Dolls
2. Portions for Foxes- Rilo Kiley (heard around the K universe before, but its a great song)
3. Breathe- Anna Nalick
4. Other side of the world- KT Tunstall (same as above)
5. Screaming Infidelities- Dashboard Confessional (i know emo, but it works)
6. Seeing other People- Belle & Sebastian
7. This Love- Maroon 5
8. Tragedy- Brandi Carlile
9. Today has Been Okay- Emiliana Torrini
10. So Sad about us- The Breeders
11. Let my Freak Flag Fly- Caesars Palace
12. Mr. Brighteyes- The Killers
13. Poster of a Girl- Metric
14. An Honest Mistake- The Bravery
15. So Sorry- Get Set Go
16. Since You've Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson (shoot me but i love this song)
17. Hide Another Mistake- The 88
18. We used to be friends- The Dandy Warhols
19. My Girlfriends Boyfriend- Her Space Holiday
well my ex-girlfriend (i kinda talked about her way earlier) has been calling me up trying to start up everything again, just when i thought we were finally officially over...arrgh dyke drama...i seriously need to stay away from this girl
anyway i was annoyed, nostalgic, and bored ...that combination lead me to make music mixes..then i figured i'd might as well share them as it really is a musical journey through a relationship
so here is the beginning aka a mix for relationships (i'll post the break up mix later):
1. Fuck and Run- Liz Phair
2. Alison's starting to Happen- The Lemonheads
3. I Kissed a Girl- Jill Sobule
4. Girls- The Beastie Boys
5. Rebel Girl- Bikini Kill
6. someone to love- Kate Earl
7. Never Met a Girl Like You- Edwin Colins
8. There's to much Love- Belle & Sebastian
9. No Sleep Tonight- The Faders
10. Don't you Just Know It- Huey "Piano" Smith
11. Got a Girl- Tripping Daisy
12. Infinity- Merrick
13. All 'cause of You- The 88
14. Friday I'm in Love- The Cure (i looove this song)
15. Jet Pack- Jill Sobule
16. Lift me Up- Get Set Go
17. Over 'fore it Started- Caesars Palace
enjoy and let me know what you think
during my computer crisis last month i was sad as i thought i had lost my entire portfolio (I used to draw and sell portraits of people, back in the day before i burned out)..but i was going through some of my old CD's and found a little bit of my stuff from high school- i am better now, but my new stuff is all in real form (this portrait above is the bane of my existence as it is huge, this is only a small portion and the only part i have left..i dont like the nose/eye area and the hair here, and it is cut off at an awkward place so it looks distorted ..anyway it is this huge creepy close up *assignment* that was hanging in the front of my high school for months and then my dad stole it and put it in the living room...i finally got him to at least move it to his office)
....and this is why i stopped..can you say obsessively anal and critical..i just cant stop nitpicking and changing everything i do, i now embrace my mediocrity..my mom always wanted me to be an artist, i just never had it in me..the portrait i did of her drove me to the brink..i am thinking about maybe starting up again, it has been 4 years since i've done a face..as a hobby
i dont know why i am posting it ..i guess i'm just excited that i found long lost stuff, what i do now is more of an evolution of this:
(It really is amazing how much shading is lost on the computer, there is a gentle shift btwn colors that is completely missed .its always amazing to see a piece in person..i could spend the rest of my life in art museums and never get bored..just let me have my ipod)
cant sleep cant sleep..lallalalalaalalala (that was really fun to type)
i really dont know how i manage to function on around 3-4 hrs of sleep a night and still only be tired during class when i have to stay awake...peptide bonds at 8am, just like a shot of espresso..plus the class is just a rudimentary core that i have to make up because my science labs didnt transfer (quarter to semester system snafu), so it is super boring..i like discussing things..if you havent figured that out
you can tell how little sleep i have gotten by how rambly my posts are and the increasing mistakes in my grammar and spelling (i really am not an idiot..Believe it or not i write for a magazine on occasion..i know when i am doing something wrong..i just type really fast and am too lazy to go fix it - i embrace stream of conciousness; my mind is always ahead of my hands anyway...it relaxes me just to type my thoughts without having to think about what i am writing..ee cummings is my hero)
can you tell i'm getting delirious
Cow! (the word i here a million times as S. thinks that all mammals are cows..Especially cats..the actual cows well they Ba..it is even cuter than it sounds)
my sister comes home tomorrow and then i can go back to being in my early twenties..not sounding like some strange mom-jeans..YAY!
5 hour bio lab then...
Baby beluga in the deep blue sea
swim so wild and you swim so free
heaven above and the sea below and a little white whale on the go
baby beluga, baby beluga is the water warm? is your momma home? With you so happy?
way down yonder where the dolphins play, where you dive and splash all day waves roll in and the waves roll out see the water squirting out of your spout
baby beluga oh baby beluga sing your little song, sing for all your friends.
we like to hear you
when its dark and your home and fed, curl up snug in your water bed
moon is shining and the stars are out.
good night, little whale, good night....oh theres more,but i dont think i can do it again for the 1millionth time....man my nephew is the cutest, sweetest, easiest baby in the world..but i hate raffi
today we have read the above a thousand times and then i trained him to say bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay...and then we play the aunt L goes boom game where he pushes me over, i fake fall, and then he falls on top of me..it is great fun
now..to feed them..picky 7 year olds are so much fun to feed...and than to convince S to eat it
...i find it frightening that i like doing this...to some extent (it really is amazing how much you can love some people)
almost 100 Things I hate (prompted by KC's mention of rib flavored yogurt...just writing it makes me want to barf)
1. YOGURT - it is thick and creamy and gross and smells weird
2. Advertisements for toenail fungus cures where they show the gross toenails failing off
3. long toenails
4. toenail fungus
5. George W. Bush (see 4)
6. Clowns
7. Ventriloquist dummies
8. Mannequins
9. Tom Cruise
10. Ethan Frome
11. The Scarlet Letter
12. Dumb and Dumber type movies
13. Married with Children
14. Mike Judge's animation style- i just cant look at bevis and butthead and king of the hill
15. Star Jones
16. bacne
17. Ashley simpson
18. Hilary Duff
19. Spiders (not scared of them.. i hate them)
20. Salmon
21. Gold clothing
22. people singing too me unprovoked - marriachi bands etc.
23. Carnies- (people yelling things at me unprovoked)
24. Mosh Pit (men groping me unprovoked) ...that i cant remember how to spell unprovoked
25. men groping me
26. Daddy sauce
27. looking at burns (if you have ever had first aid training you will understand)
28. watching birthing videos
29. going to church
30. Tackiness
31. slow walkers
32. slow turners (don't waste my green arrow bitch)
33. cancer
34. the noise of people cutting/biting nails
35. little yippy dogs
36. hairless cats
37. animals dressed as humans
38. lord of the dance
39. Ross on friends
40. public speaking
41. stupid people
42. Glorifying stupid people
43. hitler
44. bill o'reily
45. ann coulter
46. Scalia
47. meal worms
48. 13 yr old girl high pitched screams
49. volleyball
50. garbage bags that break
51. really dirty kitchens
52. slimy mildew
53. focus on the family
54. militant pro-lifers
55. AFA
56. pee-wee herman (he scares me)
57. Patricia cornwells latest book
58. when my computer breaks
59. my step-mom
60. long division
61. horse flies and this gnat that keeps landing on my computer screen
62. my 9th grade world history teacher
63. cubicles
64. Asinine rules
65. people who use the word asinine incessantly
66. people who truly hate other people
67. people who cant hold a conversation (stopping all conversation so that they can speak is NOT a conversation)
68. people who get mad at you, but wont let you be mad at them (i dont know how to explain)
69. BJ's
70. balls
71. my dads patrick O'Brien audiobooks
72. dog eared pages in books
73. creamed herring
74. the smell of fish
75. boredom
76. when i get in trouble/ awkward sit. because somebody doesnt get my twisted dry humor (apparently i am very believable when saying completely ricockulous things)
77. people who dont understand the concept of sarcasm
78. mother teresa that dirty slut
79. driving in front of a cop
80. The Wiggles
81. For Better or for Worse (the comic strip)
82. old middle aged breeders who grind and make out at concerts and sporting events
83. the words NO and moist
84. slutty childrens clothing
85. those people who should NOT be wearing that tube top
86. that i really cant sleep and i have to getup to watch a baby and i have a 5 hr lab tomorrow
morning
87. it being to hot to sleep
88. making phone calls
90. the number 89
91. Indiana
92. the time clock on blogger that doesnt seem to understand the eastern timezone (its 2:48)
because i am bored, waiting to pick up my baby nephew, and cant write a short entry to save my life....my last post led my mind off on a jane austen (ish) tanget...thinking about this i have always had a thing for the willful girls of literature..marianne, Jo from little women (wynonia rider..mmm), and of course Elizabeth Bennet who is in my opinion one of the best characters in the english language.
Now i have noticed that pride and prejudice is not only on almost every straight girls favorite book list/BBC production/ movie..but on many gay girls as well..
straight girls just love Mr. Darcy (hey even i love mr. Darcy), but i was just thinking that lizzie would probably be my ideal woman..and i was wondering if i was alone in this
now i love the BBC version, but i think knightley is hotter than ehle (plus i like her in the sailor outfit in the new pirates movie...now johnny depp another man i would fuck, but not as Jack Sparrow..give me keira as any elizabeth)
now pride and prejudice is simply a great book, but it is also known for creating what many women consider to be the ideal hero...if anyone who reads this has a love of P &P...do you think that elizabeth bennet is more identifiable to you, and you'd go for Mr. Darcy or a girl version of Darcy, or would you go for Elizabeth?
..i know this a weird question strange things happen to me in the heat with only a baby for company (i have the kids for a few days 'cause my sister took advantage of my presence to go to phoenix with her husband - he works for an arizona senator- and they havent been able to take a trip for a longtime..i think it is scary that i am now responsible enough to have my sister beg me to watch her kids for a week..it makes me feel old, i really am an adult, plus i really am freaked out that i will mess up my nephew or something..my niece i can handle, shes 7, but a baby..scary)
mmm.. i love kate winslet, she is probably my favorite actress and now that i've been thinking about it i think her in sense and sensibility was my first real lesbian crush..i just loved marianne..in middle school i was also more interested in her in titanic..never really went in for the whole leonardo decaprio thing...ahh the kate winslet memories, i'm thinking back and i remember turning bright red when she was topless in Titanic when I was with my parents, i dont think that wouldve happened if i wasnt gay..its amazing how certain memories take on a different meaning now that i know i'm gay....
it was kind of freaky to me on the last slogreenx, when green was talking about how kissing a boy felt like a scripted scene from a movie...that is exactly how i always felt and have explained it to people..until i was with a girl, i just thought that i was an emotionally stunted freak and thats all i would ever feel..and i kept testing myself, to see if there was something wrong with me....and then i was with a girl...
anywho back to kate winslet....her american express commercial is just yummy..god i love her voice and when she is not all poshly made up..my roommate at the time loves to talk about the look on my face the first time i saw that ad..my head like snapped around..it remains the only commerical i have ever watched online..multiple times..its really kinda sad
funny fact i kinda wish i didnt know..when i was searching for a picture of kate winslet i came across her music video..she apparently recorded a song at some point...stick to acting
So i'll be waddling through national at 6am this morning with all of my crap ready to sleep for a month on my sisters couch...i'll be traded back and forth between the two and taking biology everyday, fun fun...but its fucking DC!!
i've only been home for a couple of weeks, but i am so done with this place..sure i'll miss people, but everyone was only home this summer for a short time anyway..like me they are all moving on to bigger and better things than wasting away at home looking for a job...now i get to waste away at my sisters home, looking for a year round job and waiting for my apartment..which i havent heard anything about lately..i should really look into that
it is kind of scary starting over at a new school and in a new place, but i've lived in dc before and believe me NW is sooo much nicer than where i lived in SE before, no more burning cars and thug life..plus i am practically done with college, i will have a handy dandy degree for which i have know idea what i want to do with, i came to DC for the internships, so i plan on sticking around
i am looking forward to seeing my family..i havent seen them in 5 months..my nephew can walk and talk now..crazyness..my plan is to get him to say my name before my other sister's as i will be living with him...man i love my sisters kids they are awesome..my niece E. is 7 (and a half..i cant forget the half) and my nephew S. is around 14 mths, they are so cute..i enjoy the fact that my jewish sisters son has random auburn hair (we enjoy making fun of her for having a super irish first name, a jewish last name, and blond hair and blue eyes)... it cracks me up
aaahh, i got a scary haircut
note to self..dont get your haircut tipsy when your in an adventurous mood..i'm totally freaked out now
so i usually have my hair around chin length..kinda funky and choppy, but not too drastic...so i had been lazy for a long time and my hair was past my shoulders..so my brother and i went down to the city to this punky place that does cheap cool haircuts, where we had gotten awesome haircuts before (plus all the chicks that work there are totally gay and cute)....so i sat in the chair with this girl who i was a little afraid of and as i was in a weird mood..i just said i want something short and funky (plus i was wearing my hipster glasses which i had to take off, so i couldnt see it until its done)...so i was expecting short to mean chin/ear length (and some of it is) i just didnt realize how short she was going until too late and i was like alright..its summer, it will grow out, i'll just go with the flow....yeah so now i'm going with the flow
there is nothing wrong with my haircut...it actually looks good on me, other people say really good..it just doesnt feel like me..think early leisha hailey meets tegan and sara..its a total indie rocker haircut, which is cool..i just think a little too cool for me (hey i wont have any problem convincing people i'm gay now...its not super dykey, straight chicks totally have this haircut..just a little too hip for me, i think it puts pressure on me to be hip)
i think it is karma for coming out, now i'm really out, and on the brightside..the girl totally would not have given me this haircut if she didnt get a hip indie kinda gay vibe off of me...and thats cool..i like indie rock chicks..i am a hipster indie rock chick..i guess i just look the part now
whatever..its just hair...i'm sure it will grow on me- pun not intended, but hey it works-
These are fried cheese curds....they look disgusting and are a heart attack on a plate, but i love them oh so much, yet only allow myself to eat them on special occasions....today i was so antsy waiting for my brother to get home from work that i drove up to wisconsin just to get some..mmmm
ok so tonight, i did it, i came out to my first family member!
It went well, i was having a beer with him and just said it...he blinked a few times..and then was like "finally..i was wondering when you were going to tell me...want another beer?"
hes known for ages, i knew he knew (sounds like friends) which is why i came out to him first, he is the only one i was sure knew...
he is perfectly fine with it, as i knew he would be, i swear to god he is more of a lesbian than i am...most of his friends are girls, he is friends with more lesbians than i am (he has lived with multiple lezzies), and he loves gay riot grrl music..all of my le tigre, sleater-kinney, sarge, ani, etc. is from him (he even has indigo girls music), and he gets really pissed off at the girls gone wild video's...he makes a great big brother
one down..four to go (sometimes it sucks having a large family, but i would die without them)
I have my dad to come out to next....
then comes my liberal sister, who will be pissed i didnt tell her sooner/first (shes been wondering if i was gay for years...her boyfriend asked me straight out last year, i said i wasnt sure yet..felt bad about it, but i should come out to her before her boyfriend-fyi i've known this guy for 10 years)..i really think things have been kinda weird between us since shes suspected, i hope coming out officially will fix things
then comes the biggy..my super republican newly converted conservative jew sister...I'm going to be living with her family for awhile, she went to smith, so i doubt she will have that much of a problem with it- she and my brother-in-law are the wildcards (they are both super republicans from super liberal families) I dont think it will be a huge deal ..her sister-in-law is dating a transgendered indivdual and always asks my niece what gender pro-noun her polly pockets want to be identified by...this sister is protective of me (she's 12 years older), but she is a freak sometimes...when i went to the iraq war protests in DC, she called me up and told me i was supporting people that would kill my niece in a heartbeat..that really pissed me off..
but anyway..i did it, i am coming out of the closet ....i need a drink
