coming out

so i kinda wrote about it over at slogreenx and on the forum....and i said i'd post about it so i will...

I've been out for a while to my friends and at school and I 've never really encountered a problem more than people just not absorbing it...sometimes people dont get it into their heads that when you say "I am Gay" very clearly and for real it does not mean i want to go scouting a hockey game for a boyfriend...anyway

i have a pretty thick skin when i choose to and very little patience with people saying idiotic homophobic things and thinking its okay because there is no one gay around them...in many of my classes we have discussed gay marriage and i'll wait a little bit and then when somebody starts in on "well i'm not homophobic; i'm not scared of gay people....they are the ones asking for marriage..cant they just be happy with civil unions or wait a while" ...i will then bust out with the "hey, i've sat next to you for 3 months...do you want to look me in the eye and tell me I cant visit my partner in the hospital, that i dont deserve health benefits, i would like to get married someday just like you...oh and it is not gay people who have started these amendments...its republicans who are getting people to vote to take away rights not grant them...." i always enjoy the look on peoples faces....i am fine coming out to people like this, people that i'm not really close to, but i am having problems with the people that matter most to me...

I really want to be out to my family before school starts up again in the fall, especially as i will be living my gay life in DC, where two of my sisters live, DC is small and I know i would have to lie at somepoint and i hate lying....i have actually never confirmed or denied that i was gay or straight to my family my entire life...its a very dont ask dont tell situation..we just dont talk about personal lives, unless there is a serious relationship to discuss...but i dont want to wait for that anymore....
my problem is starting the conversation...i just dont know how because there never will be the opening...noone will ever ask me if i have a boyfriend..and the only time my dad brings up gayness is when my homophobic step-mom is grossed out watching the sopranos *hey those men gross me out as well, but not because they are gay*
i know my dad doesnt agree with her, but he doesnt stop her either..my biggest fear is that he will side with her, but i know he wont

i have become so hung up on how to start the conversation, that i kinda threw the idea of a letter out of my mind, until someone on slogreenx's blog mention it was okay to do it that way and i really think i will...
my big problem has been it becoming this huge emotional ordeal, when it just isnt that to me, i am just gay, i dont have a problem with that...i would hope my family wouldnt...i just dont know if it will become really awkward, but it needs to be done....

with a letter i will be able to set the tone and not have to look directly in peoples eyes...they can come to me, thats always been the way i've worked, seriously i really do think i will do something funny at first, i dont think i could get away with it if i didnt know they already know, i'm just confirming it..(in my entire life i have never talked about boys/boyfriends...so they will not be surprised) and i have always been snarky and funny, i want them to think of me the same way
....i will probably keep it short and sweet "guess what I need to tell you?"..."i'm gay...and i finally have the courage to tell you" i'll decorate it, make it crafty -cause thats how i do things- make them start out laughing as their first reaction, then i'd go into the serious aspect on the back and ask them to come talk to me if they want to..My sisters recently had me set up a family blog...and i would love to just post something there, but that would just be too impersonal, dont you think?

....do you think it is insane to do it this way, should it be really serious and sappy, it is one of the most important things i will ever do, and i do feel guilty enough for not telling them sooner, is this short changing them?